Thankful for my Children’s School….but not the NAPLAN

Today I have been thinking about schools and education….

…. I have been mulling it over in my head because this week,  my oldest daughter Flash (9) is sitting her first standardized tests; the National Assessment Program in Literacy and Numeracy (NAPLAN).

As it is my first experience parenting a child  through a standardised test, I have not really been sure what to expect. I have tried to extract information from my daughter but most of the time she has not seemed willing to talk much about it…I know that there was an exposition to write about food and she knew how to spell ‘vegetable’…

I haven’t pushed the point because after spending a large part of the school day sitting multiple tests…the last thing a 9 year old would want is to be grilled about it by her mum!...I’ll have  another go at getting some of her thoughts on the weekend….but I can tell that that this has certainly been a stressful and un-enjoyable experience for her. I have to say that after today I am thankful that the NAPLAN is over.

According to the NAPLAN website, these tests are important because...

“…NAPLAN tests are run every year to provide policy makers, schools, and parents with important information about how well students are performing in key areas of literacy and numeracy….”

I didn’t experience this sort of testing when I was in year 3. These tests have been run for only the last few years. The schools I attended were in country town NSW. A town where unemployment and  poverty, were very high. I think it is fair to say that it was an area of lower socio-economic standard than I live in today.

I am being completely honest when I say that the school was terribly under resourced. Of course at the time, it was all that I had known. But now, when I see the school that my children attend, the vast range of equipment, resources and opportunities they have…than the difference is wide and gaping!

I was able to finish school, go on to university and achieve a PhD in Medical Research. I think I  was able to achieve a score high enough to study science at university largely due to the support of my mum and my internal drive.

 I do truly believe that myself and my cohort were just as capable as a children attending a Canberra private school….but the difference in university entrance scores is staggering! A student attending my old school would find it extremely difficult if not impossible to achieve a high enough entrance score to pursue medicine, law or any of those type of university courses straight from school.

If there is anything useful to come out of the NAPLAN tests than I hope that differences in literacy and numeracy will be detected at year 3…where there’s still time to improve,…rather than waiting for the university entrance scores. I hope that the schools that perform poorly at the NAPLAN tests get the funding, resources and support that they require to increase the levels of literacy and numeracy in their students so that they will have the opportunities to attend university, just like their counterparts form more advantaged schools.

Unfortunately, I think the NAPLAN is abused. I have heard stories of some schools drilling their students on the test for weeks, even months prior to the test. There are books and websites available to help parents coach their child for the tests. I have heard that some selective high schools are using the results to choose their students. The results are used to create ‘league tables’ in the Newspapers.  I don’t think the NAPLAN should be used for these purposes at all.

Getting good results in one test should not be the measure of a good education. The test does not measure things like the school community, a love of learning, art, science, music or sport. I hope that the all students are able to experience these wonderful aspects of schools as well as the NAPLAN.

In my experience with my daughter this year, I can say that the school has prepared her for the NAPLAN. They have had several practices and the children have been shown what is expected of them in the test.  I am thankful for this because it would be awful to be comforted with the NAPLAN with out any preparation. However, My daughter has also had a rich education in that she is learning Indonesian, taking part in music and art lessons, she has joined the school choir and of course participated highly in school sport.

Today I am thankful for the school that my children attend think they have managed the NAPLAN well. I am thankful for the rich and diverse education they are receiving and I can see that it is vastly superior to the education I received in year three.

Personally, I have not liked sending my daughter off to school this week knowing she has the NAPLAN waiting for her. I think the NAPLAN as been abused and is not being used for the purpose in which it was intended.  I believe there is so much more to education.

However, since I do not really have a choice…the NAPLAN is here weather I like it or not, I hope that some good can come form the NAPLAN. I hope that resources can be given to schools that will be identified as really needing support so that all children have a chance at fulfilling their potential.

I'm sharing this post over at  Thankful Thursday on the Kate Says Stuff Blog. You can head over there to read some inspiring posts!

Partners of Adult Undiagnosed Aspergers

April is autism awareness month. I have read that 1 in 88 children have been diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum (http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/index.html). I was surprised that his figure is so high. When you think about it it’s not just 1 in 88 people that is affected by autism. It’s their mother, father, sisters, bothers, and grandparents.

I have also recently discovered that spouses can be affected by autism as well…..

….I am writing this post for one of my friend, whose husband (probably) has adult aspergers.

Autism hasn’t just sprung up out of the blue! Surely it has always been there? What of the now adults in their 40’s who displayed characteristics of aspergers as children, before these symptoms were widely recognized? Like Albert Einstein, Mozart perhaps?

My friend believes her husband falls into this category. She truly believes that her fiercely intelligent, loyal, socially challenged husband also has aspergers. She believes that over the years he has developed strategies hide or mask some of his traits or to help him cope with the world. These include the desperate need for down time, complete immersion in work and hobbies, heavy reliance on routine and the written word, being in a different room to the rest of the family and self-medicating with alcohol.

Before this couple had children, this system seemed to work. However, I suspect introducing the chaos, noise, responsibility and unpredictability of children into this equation greatly changed the outcome!

Parents of children with aspergers have to contend with a wide range of behaviors in their children. These behaviors could include extreme anxiousness in social situations, inflexibility, being easily upset by noise, light and over stimulation. Having children so caught up in a hobby or pursuit to the exclusion of other things. Fixating on things or having tantrums when things don’t go the child’s way.

Now image what it is like to live, not with a child like that, but an other adult. An adult who also has the responsibly of also rearing his own children.

My friend does realize how hard life must seem for her husband. She has done an awful lot of reading around the subject and has begun to understand some of the reasons for his behaviors. However, understanding why her husband has difficulty coping with the unstructured weekends does not help her cope with her children all on her own. Simply understanding ‘why’ does not help my friend or her children contend with her husbands erratic behavior.

My friends husband is insistent that he does not have aspergers . He refuses to even listen to my friend about this issue let alone see a doctor or a councilor.

So my friend has to contend with his autistic aspergers-like behaviors without the help of any services or therapies. I believe that sometimes she finds this situations desperately difficult and lonely.

I wonder if there are others out there who’s partners have characteristics of aspergers, but were undiagnosed as children. If 1 in 88 children are being diagnosed now, than there must be quite a number of adults dealing with this.

So, in this month of autism awareness, this post is for my friend and perhaps other spouses of adults with undiagnosed Aspergers. These people are not often mentioned, but their lives and the lives of their families are being hugely affected by autism as well.

Linking up with the sparkly Jess at Diary of a SAHM for #IBOT and hoping that some of her sparkle can rub off on me!!

I am NOT trying to fulfill my own ambitions through my children

In a previous post (here) I have written about allowing my daughter, Flash, to compete in an athletics carnival while she was sick. As I sometimes do, I shared this post on my personal Facebook page. I then received a very surprising comment on my FB page about that post. The comment came form an extended family member…the person who married my partners brother.....

I have deleted it now but it went something like this:

 I will visit her in hospital when she has collapsed from exhaustion exacerbated by illness.. 

Not only was this written on my FB page, but as her own status upstate was written

A family member is trying to live her own ambitions through her children. The rest of the family think so too but I’m the only one willing to say anything…..

I could write forever about how inappropriate, disrespectful and hurtful I found these comments. Specially since a non-private medium like face book was used.

This commenter does not even really know Flash or myself. She lives hundreds of kilometers away and she does not see my family apart from rare family gatherings, about once a year.

What affected me the most was her assumption that I was trying to realise my own dreams through my children. It appears that she believes that allowing Flash to participate when she is sick is to fulfill my own ambitions for sporting grandeur. There is no way I would ever, knowingly endanger the health or well being of my child. Flash did have a bad cold for those recent competitions but was still desperate and able to compete.

I feel like I shouldn’t  have to defend myself against such outrageous allegations. I will just say here that these allegations are categorically untrue!

If you knew Flash, you would know that the drive and motivation to train and compete is all hers. She may be just 8 years old but her dedication is all hers.

Perhaps this picture is worth 100 words 

It has me wondering if other parents of sporty children are accused of living their dreams through their children. I wonder if these accusations increase as the children become successful? I wonder if the same is said about the parents of Olympic athletes or does the effort made by the parent to get heir child to competitions become ‘heroic’ rather than ‘abusive’.

These comments have directly attacked my ability and authority as a mother to make decisions for my children.

Comments such as these are so hurtful because I have poured every thing I have into my job as the mother of my children. It is something I am fiercely proud of. What sort of mother would I be if  I did not provide the opportunities for my children to reach their potential… Weather it be sport or any other interest.

The decision to send Flash to the sports carnival was her parents….and us alone. Nobody has the right to question this decision.

I would love to shout to the world just how disrespectful and condescending I found those comments…or perhaps I just have J

However, I refuse to dwell on this attack on my parenting. Instead I am determined to be thankful….

I am so thankful to my amazing friends for their comments on FB and kind and encouraging texts.

I am also very glad that the school district swimming carnival was held on the day these comments were made. I was surrounded by other parents who patiently listed to me and offered words of support and encouragement.

My friends and parent colleagues know Flash and myself and they know there is no way I would, or could, ever force her into competition, They know that Flash is herself driven and enthusiastic. I am so thankful for this support.

Perhaps it is this SportyMummy blog that has created a perception that I only care about sport….but sport is what this blog is about! It is fair to say that at the moment sport plays a big role in our families life. But sport is certainly not the only thing in our lives. Please...If you do not like the SportyMummy Blog, then don't read it!!!

I would so love to know if any other parents of sporty children have been accused of putting their own desires for success above the welfare of their own children??

In all honesty, I expected this blog to generate comments such as those made here by my children’s Aunt. I believed that I was equipped to handle them. However, having the rug pulled out from underneath me by a ‘family member’…with other members of the family implicated as well….. the very people who are supposed to care and support my children and myself as actually stunned me!

Although I have received words of support and encouragement from my friends….I have never felt more alone on this SportyMummy journey…..

For thankful Thursday, I’m linking up with Kate Says Stuff. The writing prompt for this week is “a picture is worth a thousand words”.......... I guess I’ve decided to write a thousand words instead!

In Our Family…..A Secret Weapon for Teaching My Children

Today, I’d like to share with you a list of ‘rules’ I drew up for our family about four years ago. It is more than a simple list of rues though...I credit this chart as helping to manage my children's behavior, over the past four years....it is my 'secret weapon'!

This list hangs, laminated, in several spots in out house…in the kids bedrooms, on the fridge, and on the front door, a convenient spot for time outs.

When friends come over they are often intrigued by this little poster. I am often asked where I got it from and if they can have a copy. The truth is that it came straight form my own head.,…

…..You see I have never wanted to use smacking with my kids and I have used time outs instead. I was finding though, that with the time outs, my kids (particularly my oldest daughter) would completely turn off her brain…wait for the timer to run out….utter a rudimentary ‘sorry’ and not really understand, or appreciate the reason behind the time out. If I tried to explain it to her then I’m sure all she heard was ….

…blah…blah….blah….blah…..

Even though my children could not read at the time, I found it really helpful to point at the chart and read from it word for word the ‘rule’ they had broken. Perhaps it was the colour coding, or repetition of the exact same words, or the visual clue….but having this chart there seemed to help my children understand exactly what they had done wrong….. And more importantly why it was not acceptable.

Now that my children are older, and the girls can read…I get them to point out the rule they have broken. They have virtually memorized the chart!!

I think that kids really seem to understand rules. There are rules for most games and they are intrigued by things like road rules….even if they make up their own rules for games (which can change depending on the circumstance…or who is winning…) they still understand the importance of rules and why they should be followed. Having a list of concrete rules really seemed to help my children understand what behavior was appropriate at home.

One other reason the rules worked well in our house is that the adults were held accountable to them too! Us adults were also required to asked politely for things and say sorry if we did the wrong thing. I think seeing their parents follow the rules, set an example for the children to do the same thing.!

So here is the Poster…

…….

1. We treat each other with kindness and respect

       -no name calling

       -no hitting or hurting anyone

       -we stop when we are asked nicely

       -we answer when we are spoken to nicely

2. We treat our house, furniture and belongings with care and respect.

3. We listen to each other.

4. We use quiet inside voices inside.

5. Children do what Mummy or Daddy asks the first time.

6. We speak nicely to each other and ask for things nicely by saying please and thank you.

7. We tell the truth

8. We say sorry if we have done the wrong thing

I realise that it is not perfect and it is oversimplified…but it really seems to work wonders in our house. I understand that every family is different and it will not work for everyone…but it did work for us!

Do you use ‘time out’ with your children? Do have any tactics that helped teach your children appropriate behavior?? I’d love to hear about them in the comments!

On this lovely Tuesday, I’m linking up with that awesome 'Dish',  Jess over at Diary of a SAHM for #IBOT! Come over and read some great Tuesday posts!

Blog of the Ghost Cat

The inspirational Eden, over at Edenland has shared her belief (or perhaps, hope) that everyone is assigned a guardian angel. She also writes that a feather on our path are sign that an angel has been there. She has asked:

"What's your own personal sign that things will be ok? That you're safe, in the world. That something or someone has your back."

 I love to take part in Eden Memes, to see if my writing is up to the challenge of digging a little deeper than I normally do on this blog….so here goes…

Note: I’ve written that as my introduction so that you don’t think I’m completely crazy (or at least I’m not alone in my craziness) when I tell you about my ghost cat.

This may be hard to appreciate if you are not a cat person, but I have always grown up with cats around. It’s strange though because my mum always hated cats…so I think it must have been my dad’s doing…..

I think there is a certain type of person that is a cat person. One who is a little quiet, introspective, likes their own company. A person that can seem a little aloof, but really appreciates a good ‘scratch under the chin’, but only when they want it of course!

Cat’s are more than opportunistic ‘flea bags’. They are companions. My cat’s seem to know when I, or one of the kids are sick, they sort of stand guard, by hovering on the couch, or curled up on the end of the bed.

Our cat 'Sporty' watching over my sick little man

I was definitely a cat person  type of child, especially when my dad left…..

Throughout my life, at times of stress, sadness, and heartbreak or even just times when I’m alone, I can feel the tell tale brush of a cats tail against my legs, or ‘feel’ a cat behind me. I reach around expecting to feel the warm soft fur, but there is nothing there. Sometimes I just assume my own cat is in the room with me, until I find him locked outside.

At first I was sure I was imagining  it…..and I most probably am. But now I find that feeling comforting, a sign, almost like an old friend , just letting me know that they are there, specially for me…standing guard.

I have always loved the idea of guardian angles. I have always wondered if my sister, who passed away as a baby, is ‘out there’ watching over me and now my children. I wonder if my first miscarried baby is there with her.

As a scientist, I tend to think rationally and mostly believe that we are flesh and bones and pulses of electricity and hormones. But I don’t think this biological rationalaism fully explains love.… I really hope there is something more. I hope that the love we feel will continue after we’ve gone. Perhaps this love is carried in the hearts of the people we love, or perhaps the love is released out into the universe to stay with them, watch over them and protect them..... and when it's needed most….drop a feather…or…give you fleas J…

Pop over to Edenland and find out what other think about their *signs* . It's a fascinating read!!

Fresh Horses Brigade: The Sorry Edition

The awesome Eden over at Edenland has asked her Fresh Horses Brigade to share what they are sorry for. I have definitely detected a sarcastic note (!) to her post and I have the distinct impression that Eden and some other awesome contributors are sharing what they are NOT sorry for.....Have a look!

Here, I’m going to do the same….

I’m sorry that I’m so proud of my children…all the time. Your own mum has to be proud of their kids right?!

I’m sorry my kids do well at sport, win races, get awards….but hey, they spend a lot of time training and working hard…..to the people who take issue with this…I don’t see your kids out there!

I’m sorry that sometimes, I just really need my own space.

I’m sorry I’m so driven and demanding of myself…that’s just who I am, it’s all or nothing around here!

I’m sorry I’m not a musician  and I don’t do music anymore. It’s just not who I am.

I’m sorry I have no belief in a God…I have actually tried many times but I can’t seem to suspend my rationalism and logic far enough! I don’t have anything against those that do. I actually envy your peace and trust and faith.

I’m sorry I’m not a great friend, sister, daughter, partner…

I’m sorry the Labor Party are doing such a great job of knife-wielding, self-destructing,  and instating Mr. Budgie Smugglers as Australian PM

I’m so sorry my little boy has so much trouble just trying to find his voice. I want him to be heard, he has plenty to say.

(I am actually really sorry, no sarcasm intended, about these last three).

I’m sorry I don’t have  the intestinal fortitude to publish this post…I'm worried it might hurt too many feelings….I’m sorry.

Or just maybe…thanks to Edenland….I do have the guts after all….

…..because this is who I am

 And I’m NOT sorry!!

I’m A Weirdo Too!

One of the reasons I started blogging was that I was inspired by the passion, honesty and heart of an amazing blog I had discovered from twitter…Edenland.

Today, the author of this blog, Eden has asked us why we blog for her 'Fresh Horse's meme. She has titled her post 'Weirdo bloggers are WEIRDOS'

This title makes me smile, because two weeks into this blogging caper, I was accosted by a lady in the carpark and was told that I should stop writing things on the internet. She said that writing that stuff made me seem mentally imbalanced. After that episode I wrote this post and it still rings true today

This is part of that post

“…..For me, blogging is my voice. As a SAHM I often turn to social media for adult

interaction during the sometimes, very long, and often lonely days. Reading about others experiences on their Blogs and on twitter has really made me feel less isolated and alone. Reading about others has also helped me support and validate my choice to be SAHM.

 Over the past two weeks I have had readers from all over the world look at MY Blog, MY thoughts and MY stories. Maybe some of these readers are struggling with similar issues of their own, maybe they are interested in what other sporting families get up to. Maybe there are some readers who are also dealing with apraxia and can take some solace in the fact they are not alone. Maybe some readers are dealing with passive aggressive bullies in the workplace or at school. Maybe some of the readers are also SAHMs looking to be part of a wider village of other carers who are also at home, with feelings of isolation, looking after children…..”

While blogging gives me a voice, I have since discovered that the most fantastic part of blogging  has been the connections I have made in the blogosphere. It is these relationships that have made blogging such a worthwhile experience.

In writing about my sons battle with apraxia, I have been so incredibly touched by the comments I have received on my posts. People who genuinely care and understand. Without their support  and encouragement, right there in my computer, I would be largely facing this on my own. I would specially like to mention.

 Kate Says Stuff

 Life Love and Hiccups

I have also connected with other families facing dispraxia. I am simply amazed that I can offer and receive support, advice and encouragement form other parents battling apraxia from the other side of the world.

Jakes Journey to be a Little Man

My Armada, An Armada of Love

I have also found other parents that are highly involved with youth sports. I find their advice, knowledge and encouragement such a valuable support to parenting active kids. I have also appreciated their support for my 'Youth Sports Weekend' posts.

Stats Dad

JBM Thinks

Track Mom

One of the unexpected things to come from blogging has been the re-kindling of my interest in photography. I have been inspired by the most talented and creative photography blogs. I now look at he world with much more detail and appreciation and I love the opportunity to share my photos.

Pieces of Contentment

The Greastst of these is love

Life according to Jen and Jer

Finally, there are those wonderful bloggers who I consider to be my tribe. They have been a constant source of support and encouragement on Twitter and the comments on my blog.

A Parenting Life

Delightfully Tacky Little Squirts

The Mother experiment

My Journey, Am I There Yet?

Diary of a SAHM

Mum on the Run

Iron Mum Karla

Even though I have been blogging for a little over 3 and a half months, it is the people I have met, and the support I have received that has given me ‘fresh horses to ride’ and made blogging so worth while. I am still discovering my tribe, my journey is just beginning and I am so looking forward to the ride!

If being a blogger makes me seem weird or unbalanced to others than so be it! I wouldn’t swap the wonderful people or the support or encouragement for the world. Nor would I let go of this amazing opportunity to share my voice with the world.

If you would like to see the reasons others blog, and their tribes...go over to Edenland and have a look!

A Ranty Pants Red Head Post!

I am a proud red head. In fact, if I was to nominate my favorite feature, it would be my long red hair! I was delighted when two of my children were born with a great shock of the stuff…my eldest daughter was born with a bright red Mohawk!. I feel happy, proud and honored when a passersby on my blog, or in real life tells me how lovely their hair is…

…but it wasn’t always this way. During my childhood and early teenage years, I would have given anything NOT to have red hair. I was teased mercilessly because of it. I was called a red-headed chook and an orange carrot top. I was convinced nobody wanted to be my friend because I had red hair.

Fast forward to my adult years and I wouldn’t have it any other way…. I still don’t like the word ‘orange’ J…..But I have learnt to appreciate my hair colour! My hair has been the subject of some often hilarious pick-up lines (….yes…red ones do go faster, by the way….and yes I am a REAL red-head!) and I leant that sometimes what makes you different also makes you stand out in a crowd and remembered. Now,  I would never change my hair color!

Me and my hair at a a soccer game

However, there are two things yet that I have not reconciled with being a red head. The first is the term 

‘Ranger’.

Ranger is derived from the orangutan, a large, orange tree dwelling ape. Honestly, would you like to be called a name after a hairy primate? I have to admit that I just don’t like the term. Maybe it is the sound of the word. ‘Ranger’ can be almost thrown, or spat out of a persons mouth if it is used in a derogatory way.

I dislike this word when used to describe me or my children. I also don’t like it used to describe the current Prime Minister of Australia. Regardless of ones political beliefs or persuasions, I think it is a low act to simply bring a person down based on their appearance. I can’t believe that it is socially acceptable to do this!

My friends teenage niece is intelligent and beautiful, and she also has red hair. This girl has taken a different approach and  taken ownership of the word ‘Ranger’. She makes a joke of it and describes herself as ‘everyone’s favorite ranger’. She uses the term ranger to sign off on her emails and facebook posts. Although I am proud and a little envious of the way she has taken ownership or the word, I worry that such a beautiful an intelligent girls defines herself simply by her red hair….because surly this is not how other people see us…just our red hair??? …or is it??

This brings me to the second part of being a red-head that bothers me. That is the propensity of non-redheads to think that all people with red hair look alike. You would be amazed at how many people have said

  “…..There is someone from my home town/school/ mothers group with red hair and she looks just like you! Do you have a sister there???...”

If there is a red-haired child on a TV commercial my children even get asked if they have been on TV!

I do realise that I, and the other people mentioned share red hair and a similar pale complexion. I also realise that most of us are probably not lacking in the freckles department! However red heads, like other people, have different facial features and different personalities. We are not all related. We are individuals.

 Red-heads should not be defined, grouped and stereotyped  simply by the color of their hair but, just like everybody else, what is on the inside…our personalities.

I would love to hear what you think of the term ‘Ranger’? If you are a red head, or have children with red hair, do you like being referred to a ranger….or do you ever get told you look just like somebody’s mothers cousin, who also has red hair?? 

OK rant over now….I feel so much better!!

I am joining in with Jess from Diary of a SAHM who has also written a great post about hair (!!) (great minds obviously think alike!) for  the wonderful Tuesday link-up  #IBOT (I blog on Tuesday) Come and read what others have blogged today!

Australia Day

So, today it is Australia day and I am extremely thankful to be living in a country of such beauty and diversity; Not just it’s landscape but in it’s people as well.

image source

I think that Australians are fiercely proud of this wonderful country. Traditionally though, it has been a deep seated pride, found running under the surface, filling hearts and minds with the belief, motivation and courage to accomplish great things in many fields such as wartime, sporting, medical, and scientific, just to name a few. It has never really been the ‘shout it from the rooftops and emblazon every surface with the flag’ kind of pride........

I have traveled to the USA on several occasions, once a mere 2-weeks post the 9/11 terrorist attacks. On each visit I was stunned and touched by the level of pride and patriotism shown in that country. The American flag, proudly flying from flagpoles and rooftops seemed to bring the people together, giving them a common purpose, sense of belonging, community and safety.

I was also in the Sydney suburb of Cronulla, In January 2006, just after the ‘race riots’ of December 2005. Walking around the streets in the predominantly white Angelo Saxon suburb, our family was greeted with the site of an Australian flag hanging from almost every balcony, window or veranda. Many cars drove the streets with their flags cracking in the breeze, often honking and hollering! This should have made me feel proud. However it actually made me feel a little uneasy….The flags, and the prevailing feelings and attitude at the time seemed to represent more than nationalism, pride and patriotism. They seemed to represent something defensive, like an animal making its territory, or a call to arms.

Of course I think that Australian themed decorations for Australia day parties and children is a fabulous and fun way to celebrate Australia day. But, now, when I see cars driving around with those flags…again cracking in the breeze. I can’t help wondering what their motives are. If it is for patriotism, fun and celebration, then great!.....but is there something more? 

Interestingly, I read a recent article which suggested a higher percentage of drivers of cars that displayed the Australian flag, support the white Australia policy (as opposed to the percentage of  drivers with no flags on their cars, that supported the White Australia policy). I wouldn't go as far as concluding that this research means that drivers of cars displaying flags are racist, but it is interesting nonetheless.

Growing up in Country NSW, I have heard family members and their friends vocally ‘discussing’ such issues as the white Australia policy, immigration, refugees and boat people. I decline to participate in these discussions as some of the extreme viewpoints only end up making me feel sad and discouraged. The protagonists know that I agree to disagree.

However, to feel positive and hopeful about the future of this great country, I only need to look at my children. I believe that they have been brought up in a family and school community mostly free of racial stereotypes. My daughters can sing the Australian National Anthem in an Aboriginal language, they are learning to speak conversational Indonesian, They have learnt about festivals, celebrations and traditions from other cultures including there own. All theses things have taught them the value and importance of  cultures that are not there own.

.My children do not seem to categories people based on the color of their skin. In fact, they were curious about a conversation that was occurring over dinner about the refugee boat sinking in rough seas at Christmas island causing much loss of life. When I explained to them the story, they showed compassion and sadness rather than fear and hostility.

My children also love the Australian flag and they love to fly it for Australia day!

I know it is not just my children that have been bought up to think like this….this is why I celebrate Australia day, with the Australian flag. 

My motive for celebrating with the Australian flag is for the flag tosymbolizes hope. Hope for the acceptance of diversity. Hope for compassion, empathy and hope for the future.

For me, my feelings about Australia day are described beautifully in the song by  the members of the Australian band the Seekers, that many, many children have learnt at school.

We are one, but we are many

And from all the lands on earth we come

We share a dream and speak with one voice

I am,

You are,

We are,

Australian.

I'm thankful to be living in such a beautiful and diverse country and I'm linking up with Kate from Kate Says Stuff. Pop on over and see what others are thankful for this Australia day!

Happy Australia Day!

Thankful Thursday: We Survived the Pacific Highway

You know how it seems as if there are a lot of plane crashes just before you or a loved one are scheduled to fly? It has felt that way for me travelling on the Pacific Highway, A major arterial road between Sydney and Brisbane.

Thankfully we have made it safely to our destinations.... so far.....Unfortunately other families have not been so lucky. The news reports over the past few days have been filled with reports of a pregnant couple being killed when their car crashed into a tree and a boy died sleeping in his room when a truck ran into his house. My heart breaks for these families. The devastating loss, pain and sadness that these, and all road deaths cause, is beyond comprehension.

There have been constant upgrades of the highway in recent years. Much of the highway now has double lanes. Shockingly through, there is still many sections of single lane road, often snaking slowly through small congested country towns.

In one such town, we were stuck for 2 hours, moving at a snail’s pace, if at all, in a very hot car. The kids in the back seat were getting very frustrated and agitated that we weren’t moving. Many overheated cars were pulling off the side of the road with steam billowing from their bonnets. Impatient and rude drivers were trying to jump the cue by passing the line of cars on the left nature strip. The locals from the town were simply standing on the roadside shaking their head at the gridlock their town had become.




link and image credit

 It is hard to believe that a major arterial Australian highway has such slow single lane traffic for much of it's length. Upgrading the highway to double lanes and by-passing the towns still seems to be years away. In the mean time, it seems inevitable that families will be ripped apart by devastating car accidents. I so hope that upgrading the pacific highway is a priority for the governments because I believe such upgrades would really save lives!

However, It is not only the road conditions that I find frightening when travelling along the Pacific highway, it is some of the other drivers as well! On two separate occasions, the car travelling in front of us came perilously close to running right off the road. We could see that the luggage bay was overflowing with Christmas presents, pillows and nappies...... There were also many instances of dangerous and inconsiderate driving. I have to say that there was a very obvious and copious police presence. Every few kilometres a car was being pulled over by those distinctive red and blue flashing lights.

I’m not sure how to write this without sounding like a clichéd bad traffic commercial but.......Please, please drive patiently, cautiously and defensively. Take plenty of rests breaks too, and try to stay calm and patient in the face of traffic cues, bad drivers and the whining from the back seat! Please, for you and your family’s sake, don’t text or talk on hand-held phones and stick to the speed limit.

Even doing these things there is always a chance that an accident will occur....we all take that risk. Each time we reach an intended destination we phone worried loved ones to let them know that we made it!

I am so thankful that my family is safe and have enjoyed an absolutely fantastic summer holiday. The pregnant couple who so tragically passed away were also on their way to summer holidays with their family, the boy that passed away in his house......My heart goes out to you and all other families dealing with the tragedy of road deaths.

Today, for thankful Thursday, I am truly thankful we are alive!


I'm Linking up with Kate at Kate Says Stuff for Thankful Thursday. Come and read what some other fantastic bloggers are thankful for...it's guaranteed broaden your outlook!

Photography Blogs

I've always been interested in and appreciate photography. Unfortunately due to lack of talent, training and equipment I’ve been mostly producing happy snaps of my kids. J

Since I have begun blogging I have discovered some extremely talented photographers and I have thoroughly enjoyed and been inspired by their beautiful photography. In particular the Wordless Wednesday meme has been instrumental in opening up the word of photography blogs to me.

Some of my favourite blogs to drool over are:

My little drummer boys: 

The greatest of these is love:

Pieces of contentment:

The Nature Jotter:

Life According to Jan and Jer:

Enjoying the small things:  

Faith, Hope and a Whole Lotta Love

I know there are many more amazing Blogs out there…please let me know if you have some suggestions and recommendations. I’d love to hear them!

As I’ve been perusing the photography blogs I have begun to look at the world in more detail. I’ve found myself looking at objects and scenery, looking inquisitively at the light, the colour and the shadows and thinking….’that might make a nice photo!”

This is my attempt at trying to capture this beautiful spot on the North Coast not far from where my mum lives. I really tried to capture the peacefulness by showing the reflections of the boats on the water.

I have also come across this plant in the garden and I think it would also make for an interesting piece of photography.

I just love that the photography blogs have inspired me to look at the world in a whole new light...

….or maybe it had more to do with my brother’s home brewed ginger beer, which I now suspect may actually be a little bit alcoholic! I suspect this because I have walked passed this plant many, many times. I only noticed it was ‘photo worthy’ after drinking that ginger beer!!

Saturday Sport: Ugly Sports Parents

In our Sporty Family, much of the weekends are often devoted to sport. So, on Saturdays I thought I’d write a Youth Sports post. Today I thought I’d write about a particular species of sports parent that I have seen week in and week out…..the ugly sports parent. I am not making any comments about fashion (except to say that leggings are indeed not pants!) ….By the term ugly, I am referring to their down right ugly behavior.

Everyone is aware of the ugly sports parent cliché. The parent who stands on the side-lines shouting, screaming or abusing their child, their child’s team, or the opposition. Sometimes even the officials receive this treatment as well including the coaches, managers and referees.

One particular incident I have witnessed was after one of  my daughters away soccer games. After the game, the teams must line up and shake each others hands. One particularly petulant little boy from the other team neglected to shake  the had of a boy in my daughters team and chose to use his knee to render his aggression upon our boy’s groin.

Understandably, the father of our boy, our coach and the referee went to speak to the opposing team officials. Meanwhile, our guys were sitting together on the grass with their fruit and water. Much to our surprise, the father of the kneeing boy from the other team approached the kids and began to loudly ridicule them for their uniform. He jeeringly mocked

…”Oh, look at those beautiful uniforms with those names written so neatly on your backs…”

He dropped the ‘f’-bomb’ on a number of occasions as he continued his diatribe about the kids being rich and privileged.

All of us were completely dumbfounded, until one of our dads politely asked the man to leave. I should say I was impressed by our dad's considerable restraint. We were left in disbelief that a father of another child would say such things to a group of kids.

I admit that sometimes I have lost a little self control at my children’s sporting events. I have cheered very loudly from the side-lines and whooped with delight when they have been successful. However, I have been making a real effort to control this behavior because I am worried that it could embarrass, pressure or negatively effect my kids. Not to mention that the other parents think that I’m one of those ‘crazy’ ones.

I have discovered what helps me the most is to film or photograph the event. This way I need to keep myself contained so that I don’t ruin the shot. Also, I find that viewing the event from behind the camera lens stops me from getting too caught up in the moment of the event and forces me to see the event from a more distanced perspective………prepare yourselves for lots of photos!

I have never, however, criticised or berated my children, their team, the opposition or officials. I have trouble understanding why some parents do this. Is it because they too have been caught up in the moment and this is there way of ‘encouraging’ their children? Or are they trying to re-live their days of sporting glory (or lack of it) through their children. Whatever the reason,  Do these abusive parents believe that they are actually helping their child??

I do not believe that abuse or aggressive behavior of any kind helps the child. The motivation for sporting success must come from the child,  an internal drive. The motivation should certainly not come from parental pressure, shouted from the sidelines The bad behavior also must act as a very poor role model for the kids, who may copy this behavior themselves.

Recently, the referees from one of the local football codes went on strike and all games for that weekend were cancelled. the reason for the strike action was because they felt they could no longer tolerate the bad behavior and disrespect. Not just from the children, but from the parents as well.

I teach my children that the referee must be respected on all occasions, even if my child believes they are wrong. I am also constantly telling them that the most important thing is for them to put in their best effort, regardless of the final result. I have tried to instill in them the habit of  congratulating and thanking the other competitors, also no matter what the result.

I have spoken to my children about these things many, many times. But I think the best way of teaching them these values is to lead by example. I will to do my up-most to be a positive role model for my children. For the sake of our children and their future in sport,  I implore all other Youth Sports parents to undertake to do the same!

A Really Great Reason Not To Be A Bully

Let me paint a picture of me in early high school….I had glasses and red hair. My hair was not just red, but it was often cut short like a boy, or done in a very, very bad 80’s style perm.

*shudders*

I was often seen lugging around a saxophone case, about half my size,  to the music rooms or the library…. My favorite places. I spent all my time reading, I was a book worm, a nerd, I deliberately avoided the kids in the playground.

For anyone who has attended high school ever, anywhere, it is no surprise that I was bullied. There was nothing physical involved, just teasing, laughing, pointing….the usual high school stuff. I guess I just came to accept it as a normal, but loathed, part of life at school.

But by the time I had reached senior high school….the ugly duckling had started her transformation.  I had found a best friend and we were inseparable, we gave each other strength. I was not teased for being good at school work anymore, I was actually felt a little respected for being smart. I was chosen for principal roles in school musicals and musical performances that gave me self confidence, and that red hair, …Well, it was now long, thick and wavy, and I realised people actually admired it!

Now it was my turn…..at the start of year 12 I was flush with an over inflated sense of self importance. We were the leaders of the school. The bosses! We had free study periods and a special room, a different uniform, drivers licenses and a false sense of power.

There was a little girl that had just stated high school. She was small for her age. She was new to the area and she didn’t seem to have any friends. She had a brand new hessian back-pack with her name written in large letters, right on the top in permanent marker, with girly embellishments. She was the perfect target! I reenacted the same treatment that was given to me.

My best friend and I would follow her at school and comment to each other loudly all sorts of nasty things about that girls decorated  backpack.

 We thought we were so clever.

We sarcastically congratulated her for spelling her name correctly. We would ask her what her name was and laugh hysterically at her mute response. I didn’t realise at the time, but  I think we may have terrified that little girl. I don’t think it lasted long. I actually only remember doing this twice.

Although I know what I have written here makes me out to be mean and nasty, this was an isolated incident. I was actually a mostly nice, studious, mature girl at high school. We weren’t really intending to hurt this little girl, we were amusing our selves, experimenting. We soon got bored  of being bullies as we began to concentrate completely on study and boys.

You would have thought that after being bullied myself, I would have more sympathy and compassion for that little girl. I am ashamed to say that any thoughts of  an empathetic nature didn’t cross my mind. I think I felt almost entitled to act that way.

I have read several articles lately where the perpetrators of bullying contact their victims later to apologise. Well I have no need to try and contact this little girl. Yes, she did grow up herself and leave high school, go to university and get married….

…..married  to my little brother!!

Yes, you read that right. That little girl is now my sister-in-law, the aunty of my children and the mother of my niece and nephew.

Does she remember the treatment she received from me?  Hell yes! She will often bring it up when we are reminiscing about or childhoods or with new company. She says she was terrified of us, but also accepted it as a normal part of high school. Because I still feel a little guilty for the way I behaved, she has a great time making me feel bad!!

So there it is, a good reason not to bully….the little girl you bully may end up marrying your brother, and will remind you of your poor behavior for the rest of your life!

I should say that my sister in law and I are now very good friends. We had our first children only one month apart. We have been a tremendous source of support and encouragement for each other. We also have many thing in common such as a love of science, books and learning.

I do not in anyway mean to belittle the impact that bullying can have on a person. I am fully aware that it causes long lasting pain, depression and suicide. Indeed, I have since been the victim of bullying behavior as an adult.  I understand the bullying is still a prevalent issue in the workplace.

I hope that times are changing and that children are being taught more about bullying and its consequences. My children attend a program at school entitled’ bounce back’ where they learn about bullying behavior and strategies to counteract it. My children seem to have much more emotional intelligence than I did as a child.

I hope educational programs such as these will equip my children with the knowledge that bullying is wrong, and not to be tolerated……Not simply accepting of it like my sister–in-law and I did. I tell my children this story and they laugh, but they have learnt, from my example that bullying does have lasting consequences and I can only hope that through learning from my experiences they will make better choices than I did

….while they and their aunty, have a great laugh at my expense!!

Today, for the first time, I'm linking up with Jess from Diary of a SAHM for I blog on Tuesdays .....Thanks Jess, you and your new site are brilliant!

A Ranty-Pants Post: My Thoughts on the Police Union Rant about Australian Swimmer Henrick Monk

I mean no offence by the following post, It’s my attempt to have a humorous look at rants and a chance to experiment with being a ranty-pants myself J

I have been following the story of the Australian Swimmer Kenrick Monk in the media. Kenrick Monk broke his elbow riding his skateboard to training. He made international headlines my lying about the incident and saying it was a deliberate hit-and run. Recently it was announced by the police that he would not face charges for his behaviour.

Personally, I think that that Kenrick Monk acted in a very impulsive and immature way. However I am not sure that formal charges would have any usefulness in fixing the damage that has been done by this lie or serve any real purpose. I believe he will be facing the consequences of this lie throughout his entire life. Apparently the Queensland Police Union has a different opinion and a representative of the union has stated.

"Swimming Australia now being caught red-handed being complicit in orchestrating Mr Monk finagling out of being charged by police, has to be the final nail in the coffin of Swimming Australia's fast sinking credibility," Mr Leavers said.

"The public rightly expect that no one should deliberately waste the time of police, whether they be wannabe B-grade celebrity athletes like this modern-day 'boy who cried wolf', Kenrick Monk, or just regular people.

The union rep seems to be saying, in a round-about and ranty way, that valuable police time had been wasted and this time would be better spent doing more important things.

I have been thinking abut this rant by the Queensland Police union representative and I have come up with a rant of my own....

....Recently a friend of mine was fined by the police for parking on the nature strip at the school. As is the case with many new schools in this area, there as been little planing for parent parking at drop-offs and pick-ups. When the 20 or so car-spaces are full, there is little choice for the other 600 or so cars, but to park on the nature strip. Parking on the strip  is not obstructive or dangerous (except perhaps to the grass).

Is this an example of a more useful way that police could be spending their time?? 

Instead of using their time prosecuting mums for parking on the grass to pick up kindergarten children, the police could be doing other useful things….. you guessed it, I have some suggestions.

My son Buster likes to help me open the petrol cap on the car and watch me fill the car with petrol. Last time he tried to ‘help’ Sirens sounded and a loudspeaker announced that I could remove my child from the petrol bowsers immediately. As I attempted to wrestle my scared and screaming child into the car the loudspeaker repeated this demand twice. I Immediately drove away (there was no need to pay, I had not pumped any petrol, we were only just opening the car petrol cap) giving the loudspeaker a gesture of my own!! Since this appears to be such a serious offence,  I suggest that  preventing underage petrol cap opening would be a  more useful way to spend police time.

‘Car-park mum' apprehended me in the car park to tell me my son has been rough with her children and other children at the preschool. I immediately went to see the teachers, who unequivocally said that this was untrue. Yes, there had been some small issues over toy sharing, but no more than many of the other 3 and 4 year olds. Again, I suggest that mediating toy disputes between preschoolers may be another useful way to spend police time!

Obviously this post has been very tongue and cheek. But my point is that although clearly, the union rep was very upset about Kenrick Monk ‘getting away’ with his lie. I believe there are more important things for the police union to be worried about than the credibility of Swimming Australia. Perhaps the rant by the union rep was almost as impulsive and inappropriate as Kendrick Monks lie…..

……Just as my rant is equally impulsive and inappropriate. But gosh, it felt good to write it!!

When Dean Martin is Preferable to Kyle Sandilands

When I was a child, my mum and dad would play Dean Martin in the car on road trips. That’s right Dean Martin, the man who sings…

”When the moon hits your eye like a biga pizza pie its amore….”

perhaps it was the only cassette tape they owned, as I don’t know what other reason there could be to subject us to this torturous crooning, over and over again.

I remember my friends drawing pictures of the ‘KISS’ logo and talking about the songs they liked and listened to on the radio. There was never much I could contribute to the conversation with my extensive knowledge of Dean Martin lyrics.

Now that my children have outgrown the wiggles Hi-5, The Fairies and Playschool (thank you god!) I now get to introduce them to some real music. I started off by playing compilation CDs I’d made when NAPSTER first emerged, before people realized it was illegal and immoral that is…When the girls got their iPods, I’d pre-loaded them with a selection of my favorite 80’s music. And then I heard them happily singing  ‘Livin on a prayer’  and I thought “…O’no!! Bon Jovi  is the new Dean Martin”. I’m doing to my kids, just what my parents did to me!!!

So, I tried to turn on the TV music channels for them to watch. As a teenager, I vividly remember late nights and early mornings watching rage. No Saturday morning would be complete without watching my fill of  ‘Video Hits’. But OMG! Have you seen what music video’s are like now!! There are gangsters, often topless, adorned with gold, jewels, expensive cars, mansions and pools. To complete their collection of possessions, they are then surrounded by a harem of nearly naked gyrating women! Some of the videos must come close to porn. I could never leave that on the TV and have my 8 and 7 year old girls see images like these. This is not how women should be treated. I don’t ever want them to think this is the correct way to behave!

I have since turned to radio. We spend a lot of time in the car, so that is where we listen to the music. It has taken me some time but I have adapted to some of the songs and the kids each have their favorites. I am sometimes astounded listening to the kids sing because they have absorbed much more of the lyrics than I have.…although I wonder at the political correctness of the kids belting out Katy Perry’s TGIF lyrics abut a menage a trois and I feel the compulsion to turn off the song that goes  “…she sounds like sex on the radio….”

When the DJs or radio show hosts also get into the action, I just have to turn the radio off all together and listen to the CD of Hannah Montana for the 5263574^th time. But this is preferable to what is said on the radio. Kyle Sandilands, a high profile radio host, recreantly delivered this outburst about a female journalist who criticised his new TV show. He said on air…

“You’re a piece of shit. This low thing, Alison Stephenson, deputy editor of news.com.au online. You’re supposed to be impartial, you little troll…. You’re a bullshit artist, girl. You should be fired from your job… Watch your mouth or I’ll hunt you down.”

 He also called The journalist a “fat bitter thing” and attacked her hairstyle and “small titties”

I am very glad we were not listening to the radio at this time, but we easily could have been. I have also heard this man say many, many, mean, derogatory, crass, sexually explicit and misogynistic things. Usually I can get my fingers on the button before my little ‘sponges with ears’ pick the whole thing up.

It seems to me that the  pervasive culture of the music industry is actually very sexual and even misogynistic. If people in the industry believe it is appropriate to say things like this about women, include things like this in their music and their videos, than parents and teachers  face an uphill battle to teach children respect and equality.

I feel very proud that some of the people I follow on Twitter have been instrumental in getting this Kyle Sandilans story into the general media They have even succeeded in the major sponsors of the radio show pulling their adds. Effective immediately. You’ve just got to love twitter for giving people a voice and people power!!

As for my grand plan to make sure the girls are up to date with the current music trends…..Perhaps I should go and borrow my Mum’s Dean Martin Cassette instead!!