“….But you don’t do any thing all day…”
This was the reply I received from my 8 year old daughter when I told her I was too busy that day to go to the shops and by her some ‘essential’ craft materials.
This statement, although uttered out of disappointment , actually really hurt me more than I’d like to admit. I think it hurt me because my job at the moment is working as a stay at home mum, by choice. I know full well how little value society places on being a SAHM. It seems that my own children, the very people I am doing everything for, also place little value on the work that I do (for them!) as well.
What really made her statement strike a chord is that I hate doing the house work! I find it mind-numbingly boring. I derive little satisfaction from it because it is all messed up the next day…the dishes and clothes get washed, just to get dirty again. Some of it is really disgusting, like scrubbing toilets, showers, wheelie bins and emptying cat litter boxes. I hate house work so much that sometimes I actually convince my self that it doesn’t matter…..I’ll do it tomorrow….maybe…but even though I detest doing the house work, I still do it!...... for my family.
|Well...maybe I do have some help!!|
But the house work does matter!! I really want to make our house a clean, safe haven for the kids and GrumpyDaddy to come home to after school, work and sports training. Deep down I know that it matters to me….and I want it to matter to them too!
I still have trouble comprehending why SAH mums have such a low status in today’s society. I hate being asked ‘what do you do’ because I am honestly embarrassed by the answer. I feel like I have to justify myself by saying…’actually, I have a PhD in medical research you know’…but I never do.
If I could choose one thing to make matter this week, it would be get society to accept the work that SAH mums do as inherently valuable and indispensable. However, I realize that this is impossible to accomplish in one lifetime, let alone one week.
So, for this week, I intend to make house work matter for me and for my children. I want to feel proud of the work I do for my family behind the scenes. Cleaning, scrubbing, tiding, washing, packing, driving, cooking, organizing, form filling appointment making/keeping…..etc. I want my children to value the work that I do and feel proud of me for doing it. Just has they are proud that GrunpyDaddy is a scientist!
I think the first step in getting my children to feel proud of me for doing all these things is to feel proud of them myself!
Part of my personality make-up is being a planner (weather I carry out these plans is another matter entirety). I draw up a weekly plan for myself which includes which household chores I am going to do that day. That is Monday; bathrooms and toilets, Tuesday: kitchen, Wednesday: vacuuming and dusting….etc. I also like to have a menu plan and a shopping list. I need to do this because it stops me from over thinking which job to do…and then end up doing nothing. It also helps me plan chores, and cooking against the kids sporting commitments.
The kids don’t know about this to-do list….. Yet! This week, I’m going to hang this list on the fridge! For this week, I’m even going to get my kids to add a sticker for me when they see that each task has been completed…..just like I have the kids doing with their reward chart. When 50 stickers have been reached, I plan on buying myself a treat!! Hell yeah J
So, this week my goal is to make my household duties important, and matter to me and my family! I think that all parents should be proud of the work they do behind the scenes for their families. I truly believe that society should also value this work. This week I will be starting with myself and my own family…making the house work matter.
I am linking up this post with the Me and YOU making IT matter meme on A Parenting Life. If you have a goal that you really want to make matter this week, add your post or comment …because in the words of Michael Jordan
‘You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them”
(I read this quote on twitter from @JBMthinks)
I'm also linking up with Diary of a SAHM for #IBOT (I blog on Tuesdays) come and read some other amazing blogs!