It was night time on valentines day. We hadn’t made a big deal about valentines day, we never really do actually, even though it is the anniversary of the day GrumpyDaddy proposed (which proves there is a romantic bone in there, somewhere….).
That morning we were proudly presented with the cards and craft that the kids had done, proclaiming their love for mummy and daddy The cards were ‘beautifully’ illustrated with hearts, stick figures…and lots of glitter… My youngest daughter, muscles (7), had made a cute little ‘animal’ out of pom-poms and I showered her in kisses , hugs and gratitude, as all mums do!
That night, the girls were doing their homework and GrumpyDaddy and I were trying to work on Buster’s speech with some card games. We were trying to make it fun for him so there was lots of laughing, cheering and clapping.
My little girl went to the bedroom to get the pom-pom animal she had made for me. She interrupted our speech game by sitting in my lap and trying to re-present me with her gift.
I know that she wanted the attention that my son was getting. I also think she wanted some more of the hugs, kisses and gratitude she receive that morning. I guess it really made her feel special….and she wanted that feeling again.
This for me, is the absolute hardest part of being a mum to three children. I try as absolutely hard as I can to show them that I love them all desperately…the exact same amount. Sometimes I feel like I am giving them so much of myself that there is nothing left for me!....but still this doesn’t seem to be enough.
Later that night I had a talk with my little girl and tried to explain to her how important it was that we help her brother with his speech. She asked me if I loved him more than her, because I spent more time with him….sometimes, even though kids don’t mean to…they can still break your heart….
…it’s so ironic really. I love all my children, but my two girls have reached the stage where I actually really enjoy spending time with them, talking to them, learning about their developing personalities and thoughts, their day at school and sports training. Often, I can’t do that as much as I would like, because I have the responsibility of caring for their demanding little brother. Spending time with my school-aged girls is a different experience to entertaining a pre-schooler and playing endless games of Thomas the Tank Engine…
I tried to explain to her that Buster is younger and needs me to help him more than a ‘big girl’ like herself…but I don’t think she was convinced.
I am extremely thankful that I have my three wonderful children, but sometimes I don’t think I’m really up to the challenge of looking after each one on them the way they deserve. I am humbled that they need so much love and attention from me…..I just hope that I won’t them down….this parenting thing can be hard!
For Thankful Thursday, on 'International Womans Day', I'm sharing over at Kate Says Stuff...what are you thankful for today??
For Thankful Thursday, on 'International Womans Day', I'm sharing over at Kate Says Stuff...what are you thankful for today??
Wow. Even the fact that you understand where your little one is coming from and made that observation already makes you an incredible parent. I honestly take my hat off to you. They say with another child you just have even more love to give - but I can't imagine how hard it must be to distribute all that love - let alone evenly. It sounds like a set of scales - it's always weighted a little more in whichever child needs it at that time. You're sensational.
ReplyDeleteThanks you so much Pip, for such a kind and wonderful comment!
ReplyDeleteAwwww, little heartbreakers, aren't they? That's equal parts sweet and gut-wrenching. Well done, though - what else can you do?! And that photo is GORGEOUS! What a fantastic present!
ReplyDeleteThanks Emily! She was very proud of her cute little pom pom creation!
DeleteIt is hard. Every now and then I try and take the girls out for lunch or an ice cream just one on one. They love it and it does wonders for building our relationship and getting to know their little personalities
ReplyDeleteThanks Jess, that's a great idea! I think I have make a real point of having one-on-one time with the girls.
DeleteHearing you loud and clear Nicole! Having four over 12 years has been quite a challenge here. That said, they are wonderful and we are blessed. Truly.
ReplyDeleteMuch love and hugs to your DDs and you! xx
Thanks so much for understanding!
DeleteI have a similar challenge - baby no 3 is 7 years younger than the older 2 and so right now he has to just get on with it while I help the older kids with home work etc.
ReplyDeleteWe do the best we can :)
You know, the fact that you wonder if you are doing a good job is actually confirming that you ARE doing a good job!
ReplyDeleteI love each of my children the same, but each of them differently and each of them so much I sometimes feel crushed by it. It is amazing isn't it?
Keep up the great work. To me, it appears you are totally awesome. Hugs, B
Thank you so much for your kind words.
DeleteGod, it's so hard, isn't it?! As much as you know it all kind of evens out in the end, it doesn't make it any easier in the moment. I kind of aim for equity, instead of equality - giving each girl what they need instead of identical input. Does that make sense? (It's late...)
ReplyDeleteI try and aim for the equity thing too... although think it's really hard for the kids to understand...
DeleteThanks for your lovely comment, it made perfect sense to me :)
She is adorable. Knowing that you're having to spread yourself thin means that you're aware of her needs and you'll be able to make it work because you so obviously care.
ReplyDeleteThe parenting gig is hard, but the pom-pom animals make you remember why you're on this journey.
Thanks so much Jayne, what a lovely comment...your exactly right, it's the pom pom animals that make it all worth while :)
DeleteFairy wishes and butterfly kisses lovely. It always warms my heart to read of parents caring and giving so much thought to the effect they have on their children. xx
ReplyDeleteThanks Rhi! I just hope it's a good effect :)
DeleteYou are such an inspirational Mum.
ReplyDeleteSo in tune with your babes.
:-) xx
Thanks so much for saying that Shar... Sometimes I feel like I'm letting them down.
DeleteOh yes I hear you. My big girl is so easy going that it is far too easy to 'overlook' her while dealing with the challenges of my boys and the little one. I am so conscious of it and try so hard to make sure she gets equal attention. It is a juggling act!
ReplyDeleteIt sure us a juggling act..just trying not to drop the balls!
DeleteI only have two and I feel torn, it is always the eldest that is missing out. As an eldest child myself I feel it acutely. You sound like a lovely mother. The fact that you had a conversation with her about it later speaks volumes.
ReplyDeleteThanks Lee, you make an interesting point. I was the eldest child myself and I think I feel I missed out as well....I guess that adds to the pressure of trying to give them all equal attention... definitely something to think about.
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